In a controlling relationship, one partner exerts unhealthy, selfish dominance over the other. You may be in a controlling relationship if your partner frequently induces feelings of intimidation, insecurity, or guilt in you. Control is also an abusive behavior in a relationship.
A controlling attitude can seriously harm a relationship. Furthermore, you may not always be aware of your excessive control until it has already harmed your relationship.
Others may label someone a controlling person if they attempt to control events or other people in an unhealthy way. They might try to exert control over an environment by taking charge and handling everything themselves, or they might try to exert control over others by trickery, coercion, threats, and intimidation.
In many aspects of their life, people may come into contact with those who are in charge. These people include: partners, friends, family, bosses, coworkers, strangers and neighbors
These people may want to gain power and control over larger groups of people or those who are close to them, such as their partner or family.
Signs of a Controlling Relationship
The basis of a controlling relationship is an imbalance of power. As a result of one of the partners effectively dominating the other, the other feels threatened, uneasy, or guilty. These feelings might be brought on by behaviors that are physical, emotional, sexual, materialistic, religious, or psychological.
The following are some signs that a relationship is control-based:
- They try to keep you apart from other people
This is frequently the first step taken by a controlling person, though it may begin subtly. Perhaps they gripe about how frequently you call your brother, or perhaps they declare they don't like your best friend and advise you to stop hanging out with her. Alternately, they attempt to make you hostile toward anyone else you have come to rely on for support besides them. They want to deprive you of your resources, which will weaken you and make it harder for you to resist them whenever they want to "win."
- They constantly criticize you
They don't like your appearance or your speech. They play practical jokes on you. They always spot the mistake or flaw in your accomplishments. Around this person, you hardly ever feel as though you are doing enough because there is always something you could be doing better.
- There are many claims of jealousy
Controlling people frequently use accusations of flirting or cheating on them with other people to try to put you on the defensive. They shouldn't project their emotional trauma from past relationships—even if they do—onto you.
Your partner frequently looks through your texts and other personal items. You ought to always be able to have your privacy, regardless of how long you've been dating. Someone who doesn't respect your boundaries will check your phone calls, emails, texts, social media, or possessions without your permission.
- They’re overprotective
If your partner asks who you've been seeing, gets upset if you don't pick up the phone right away or acts envious of your friends and family, they might be being overly protective.
They might also think you're only secure when they're around, or they might insist on being involved in every major life decision you make.
Your medical appointments may be remembered by a controlling partner, you may be given a special diet to follow, or they may even suggest you avoid that coworker they don't like.
- It's done to make you feel guilty
A partner who is in charge will frequently blame you for their feelings. Even in situations in which you are not involved, they will make you the victim and use you as the scapegoat.
- Your partner changes the course of your encounter
Some partners will try to manipulate your emotions or the truth in a technique known as "gas-lighting," which makes you doubt your own reality. For instance, if your partner hurts you and you retaliate in kind, they might insist that you don't get it or are being overly sensitive.
- The first thing to do if you experience the above- mentioned sign is to talk to your partner about it. Start a discussion about your feelings and the things you would like to change. If it doesn't, you might require additional assistance or support. The best place to start is by talking to a dependable family member or friend. You can also seek the assistance of a trained therapist or relationship counselor to assist you in resolving these problems. The best relationship counselors are available on numerous online counseling platforms, so you can seek their assistance. If you're experiencing any relationship problems, you can seek assistance from Dr. R.K. Suri on the TalktoAngel platform. If you need to talk or feel uncomfortable in your relationship, if you need immediate assistance, you can.
Visit TalktoAngel if you want to find the best mental health professionals online. This search engine for "Counseling for relationship" or "Relationship counsellor" can help you get the help you need.