Use of CBT in Couples Counselling

7 min read

What is CBT?

Cognitive behavioural therapy is a well- known system of creating change in faulty thoughts, beliefs and actions. While numerous people are apprehensive of its use in individual therapy, CBT can also be used in couple’s therapy to help couples modify their behaviour in ways that are beneficial to the relationship. Couples’ therapists use this therapy in special ways that apply specifically to couples.

Cognitive behavioural therapy is a technical treatment used to bring change by challenging thoughts we have that may be detrimental to our well- being. We tend to believe what we tell ourselves over and over and if we can change these occasionally unhealthy, untrue, or unproductive thoughts, we can frequently change the dangerous actions and feelings that tend to follow.

Use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Couples

Cognitive-behavioral therapy for couples is slightly different than for individuals.  The setup is grounded on the fact that you and your partner are both distinct individuals and together make up a couple. This means that these three distinct realities need to be considered throughout the therapeutic process. The therapist facilitates the relations between the couples during the sessions.

The couple as two distinct individualities

Though you are in a relationship, both the partners are still two distinct individuals. You will need to work together as a couple, but you will also need to identify your issues that contribute to the problems you face together.

The Couple as A Unique Entity

Many people struggle to understand what it means to see a couple as unique.  What you need to flash back is that you and your partner have characteristics and relations as a couple that you may or may not have as two individuals.

For example, each of you might be career-inclined. On the other hand, when you are performing as a couple, you might be further fun-acquainted. Either way, the couple made up of you and your partner can fluently be different in type or degree from each of you as individuals.

You can speak in therapy as part of a couple, or you can talk about your personality.  You might work together to change harmful patterns of behaviour the two of you have developed. You might also on your own address your actions so that you are not contributing to problems between you and your partner. 

Communicating without Cognitive Distortions

In couples therapy, you and your partner work on issues such as communication, infidelity, and trust.  In CBT couples therapy, the relationship is looked at as a unit. In individual therapy, you only need to be careful about your outlook and needs. Couples therapy requires two people to work together to create a healthy bond. Cognitive biases can affect how couples communicate.  Cognitive distortions can lead to negative actions. What you want to address in couples therapy is to encourage positive actions. In CBT couples therapy, partners learn how to communicate effectively and check cognitive distortions. You and your partner will learn cognitive restructuring such that you and your partner are engaging in positive actions towards each other. 

How cognitive distortions harm us?

Cognitive distortions are harmful because of the way that people assume. These thoughts revolve around negative thoughts and discourage positive actions. This is why cognitive restructuring is so important for individuals and partners in couples healing.  For example, if a couple is engaging in black and white thinking, they are not going to feel good about each other. The couples make hypotheticals like "we're always fighting." Or "you no way you listen to me." These all or nothing statements discourage positive actions and contribute to distressed couples. Cognitive restructuring can help people learn to stop making hypotheticals and couples learn how to communicate with kindness. In couple remedy, the therapist will educate the couples on how to effectively express how they feel without using cognitive distortions.

Stop Jumping to Conclusions

Relationships can be damaged when a partner enters couples therapy. That means each partner is restless about the relationship. Couples stress occurs when partners feel insecure about their relationship. Perhaps one person will assume that the other is having an affair. This is the cognitive distortion of rushing to conclusions. Couples' stress should be addressed in a therapeutic setting. Concerned couples can greatly benefit from CBT couples therapy. People are ignorant, but guess without evidence what their partner is thinking or feeling. Couples experience a range of emotions when they begin therapy. The two of you may be excited about better communication. Partners may be protective or angry. Another may be sad about where the relationship is headed. One of the common things in couples therapy is jumping to conclusions about how the other person is feeling. It is important that the therapist works with the couple on cognitive restructuring. Evaluations help couples decide what they want to focus on in their treatment. The therapist can then begin to teach cognitive structuring to help couples learn positive thinking and avoid maladaptive behaviors. You can change your life by learning No matter what the couple relationship is, CBT couple remedies help people communicate effectively with each other without passing judgment. 

Assume the good in your partner

Satisfied couples are not upset about their partner’s infidelity. Satisfied couples have worked through this precariousness in therapy, or by talking with their significant other about trust. The strength of a couple's relationship is grounded on how much they trust each other. That is why it's important to develop that bond.  When you begin to assume the good in your partner, they would want to do the same for you, leaving no room for misunderstandings and significantly improving thye bond.

Through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, couples can improve communication, increase rewarding relationship behaviours, and re-evaluate harmful assumptions that may be a cause of distress between the partners. Studies have shown that the use of CBT in couples therapy can be effective about 50% of the time.

To find the best mental health professionals online, consider visiting TalktoAngel. This "Online counsellor" or "Online counselling" search engine can help you get the help you need.

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