3 Traps that Keep a Relationship from Building

3 Traps that Keep a Relationship from Building
5 min read

When building a relationship in a couple, people expect that only spiritual comfort and stability await them in the relationship. But reality rarely matches expectations, and partners fall into "traps" from which it is not easy to get out. What prevents you from building a harmonious relationship?

Traps in which relationships can become permanently bogged down:

1. The trap - "I'll do everything myself."

Young girls in particular often fall into this trap. Starting a relationship, they believe that with the help of wise advice from various psychologists, personal growth coaches and "right" books, you can fix everyone and improve yourself. Such girls express everything as categorically as possible and act decisively, pushing their partner in the direction of a happy and harmonious family life.

At first, such actions elicit a condescending, and even a doting, attitude from one's partner. He may agree and even follow the will of the "activator of the idea of a bright future" for a while, but then this authoritarian position bores you and resistance begins. Any person doesn't like it when their opinion isn't even going to be considered. Resistance can be passive or active. Both the former and the latter bring discord to any, even the most beautiful relationship.

The only solution is to stop dictating your terms to everyone in the family, and start asking for opinions and ideas about everything that concerns everyone. Any questions and solutions to all problems should be found in the form of benevolent dialogue, not diktat, if, of course, you care about the relationship.

2. The Trap - Parenting Scripts

Many people subconsciously believe that the most right and best relationships in the family, can only be the way their parents were. And it's possible that they're right. But the trouble is, they all had different parents, and they all had different scenarios. And when a new couple is built, they try to do things the way their mom and dad did. And it turns out that a young wife believes that the husband must share with her all family duties equally (as her father), independently do the electrical wiring in the house, fix the plumbing, do exercises and adore dietary meals.

The husband, in turn, believes that household chores are only a woman's business, there should be pies on Sundays, he doesn't even want to hear about dieting, his wife's underwear should be starched to a shine like his mother used to do. He doesn't know a thing about plumbing, and he's afraid of electricity. And how is it even possible to live together??

The solution is one - expand your ideas about relationships, and honestly admit that you need to give up following the parental script for a happy family life. From there you can only take what both partners fully approve of. That which is categorically objectionable should be, however sadly, crossed out. You have to learn that you are now a family and future parents, and you have to create your own unique life scenario, in which everyone is happy.

3. The trap is a life of waiting for miracles

Many people believe that family life rolls on its own toward a bright future without constant effort. Unlike work, which you have to work tirelessly every day to get the results you expect and get paid for it. And if things don't work out, you have to put in a lot more effort and work even harder.

But a person's private life is no less important than building a career. To always be happy with the results of family life, you also need to work on it. Otherwise, married life will become a boring obligation, where all communication is reduced to domestic chores, fulfilling marital obligations, and eating dinner together.

Out of the daily routine will be new experiences together - walks in strange places, joint hobbies, dances, trips to the countryside, love notes and romantic dates. It's enough to want to and try a little.

And more about the traps..

As many people as there are traps in which family relationships can become permanently bogged down. For example (by Cheating Buster):

  • It is always the husband (wife)'s fault;
  • Relationships are supposed to be free;
  • Everyone's wallet is different;
  • We have to think the same way;
  • And my mother said..

And many other traps. Everyone should understand that it is normal to make mistakes and fall into traps. It's bad enough when the mistakes and pitfalls are the same over and over again.

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Sergius Gardner 0
'If your partner is bored, they will seek excitement and fun. They will be looking for something new and different. They will be looking for a new experience.'...
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